Well, let me tell ya, lots of folks find that golf thing real boring, you know? Like, more borin’ than watchin’ paint dry on a hot summer day. I’ve heard people jabberin’ on and on about it, and seems like there’s a few reasons why.
First off, that golf game, it takes forever and a day to finish. Seriously, you could grow a whole patch of corn in the time it takes them to whack that little white ball around. Them fellas, they take their sweet time, walkin’ all over the place, lookin’ at the grass, swishin’ their sticks… it’s enough to make a body fall asleep standin’ up. And watchin’ it on TV? Lord have mercy, it’s like watchin’ snails race. You sit there, and you wait, and you wait, and then, wham, they hit the ball again, and then you wait some more. It just drags on and on, ain’t no excitement to it. Takes too long, that’s what it is. Too darn long.
Another thing is, ain’t much happenin’ most of the time. It ain’t like them football games where fellas are runnin’ and jumpin’ and knockin’ each other down. Or basketball, where they’re dribblin’ and shootin’ all over the place. In golf, it’s just… hit the ball, walk, hit the ball again, walk some more. It’s the same thing over and over, not much to look at, you know? Just a bunch of fellas in funny pants walkin’ around a big field.
- No runnin’
- No jumpin’
- No yellin’ (much)
It’s quiet, too quiet. You could hear a pin drop out there. Makes a body feel sleepy just thinkin’ about it.
Now, some folks, they say it takes a lot of skill and thinkin’ to play golf. They talk about “strategy” and “mental focus,” like it’s some kind of brain surgery. But honestly, to me, it just looks like they’re tryin’ to hit a little ball into a little hole. I ain’t sayin’ it’s easy, mind you, but it sure don’t look all that excitin’. I mean, where’s the fun in that? Where’s the pizazz?
And then there’s the pace of play. I heard tell that some of them golfers, they’re slower than molasses in January. They take forever to line up their shot, they take practice swings, they stare at the ball, they stare at the ground… It’s like they’re in slow motion or somethin’. And if you’re stuck behind one of them slowpokes, well, you’re gonna be there all day. No wonder people get frustrated. I’d be frustrated too, sittin’ there waitin’ and waitin’ while some fella fusses over his little ball.
Plus, if you ain’t good at it, it ain’t no fun at all. I reckon if you’re hittin’ that ball all over the place, into the water, into the trees, into the sand… well, that’s gonna make you pretty darn mad. And nobody wants to do somethin’ that makes ‘em mad, right? So if you ain’t seein’ no improvement, you’re gonna get bored and quit. That’s just common sense.
And let’s not forget about bad experiences. Maybe the weather’s terrible, maybe the course is all muddy and wet, maybe some other fella is bein’ a jerk. All that stuff can ruin your day and make you think golf is the most borin’ thing in the world. You get a few bad experiences like that, and you ain’t gonna wanna go back, that’s for sure. It ain’t the game itself sometimes, it’s the whole rigmarole that goes with it.
Some folks say golf ain’t boring because it takes “passion.” Well, I reckon that’s true for folks who love it, I guess. But for a lot of us, it just don’t seem to have that spark. It ain’t got the speed of racin’, the action of football, or even the pretty skaters twirlin’ around on the ice. It’s just… golf. And for a whole lotta folks, that’s just plain boring, simple as that.
So, there you have it. That’s why I figure lots of people find golf so borin’. It’s slow, it’s quiet, it takes forever, and ain’t much happenin’ most of the time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go watch somethin’ with a little more pep in its step. Maybe some good ol’ wrasslin’. Now that’s excitin’!
