Alright, alright, let’s talk about them funny fantasy football quotes, you know, the kind that make you chuckle like when the rooster crows at noon. I don’t know much about this fancy football, but my grandson, he’s always yappin’ about it. Says it’s like owning them fellas on TV, but without havin’ to feed ’em, which is good, ’cause feedin’ a whole football team? That’d cost a pretty penny, I tell ya.
So, this fantasy football thing, seems like folks get real worked up about it. More worked up than a hen with one chick, I swear. And they say all sorts of funny things, from what I hear. Like this one time, my grandson was yellin’ at the TV, somethin’ ’bout his player bein’ “slower than molasses in January.” Now, I know molasses, and January’s cold, so that boy musta been movin’ real slow, real slow indeed.
Funny Sayings for Your Fantasy Football
- “My team’s so bad, they couldn’t score in a chicken coop.” That’s a good one, ain’t it? Means your team’s just plain awful.
- “I’d trade my whole team for a decent biscuit.” Now, that shows you how desperate some folks get. A good biscuit is worth a lot, but your whole team? That’s serious business.
- “He runs like a three-legged dog on ice.” That one’s just plain mean, but funny. Means your player ain’t movin’ so fast.
- “My team is like a broken fence, always letting points slip through”. That’s just like my old fence back at home, full of holes so the hen always get out.
- “Drafting him was like buying a pig in a poke, you never know what you gonna get”. That’s true though, just like buying a pig at the market, you don’t know if it’s a good one till you take it home.
- “I need a football miracle; my team is sicker than a dog with the mange”. That poor dog, and that poor team I guess.
My grandson, he told me some other things folks say, like “Why did the fantasy football player go to therapy? Because he had too many….” Well, I don’t know what he had too many of, maybe too many losses, maybe too many chickens… who knows? These city folk, they got their own ways of talkin’, that’s for sure.
And then there’s this one, somethin’ about a trophy. If you win, you get a trophy, see? And folks put funny sayings on ’em. My grandson said one time he saw one that said, “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you.” Sounds a bit harsh for a game, don’t it? Like somethin’ them Vikings would say, not somethin’ you’d say about your neighbor, Billy Bob, even if he did beat you in fantasy football.
Don’t Be a Sore Loser, or Winner
Another thing my grandson told me, somethin’ important, is that you shouldn’t be a “asshole” to your friends in the league. Now, I don’t know exactly what that word means, but it sounds like somethin’ you shouldn’t be. If you win, be happy, but don’t go rubbin’ it in everyone’s faces. And if you lose, well, don’t go cryin’ like a baby. It’s just a game, even if it does seem mighty important to some folks.
I heard folks talkin’ all kinds of crazy stuff before the games even start. Talkin’ about how this player or that player is gonna be the best thing since sliced bread. My grandson, he calls it “hype.” Said one time some fellas were talkin’ ’bout how good some fella named Matt Forte was gonna be, somethin’ ’bout the “awesome Chicago Bear offense line.” Sounded like a bunch of gibberish to me, but they were real serious about it.
It’s All Just Fun and Games, Mostly
So, this fantasy football, it seems like a whole lot of fuss over somethin’ that ain’t real. But I guess it gives folks somethin’ to do, somethin’ to talk about. And it sure does make for some funny sayin’s. Just remember, don’t get too worked up, don’t be mean, and for goodness sake, don’t trade your team for a biscuit, unless it’s a really, really good biscuit.
And if you do win that trophy, maybe put somethin’ nice on it, somethin’ that’ll make folks chuckle, not somethin’ that’ll make ’em wanna run you outta town. Maybe somethin’ like, “I beat y’all fair and square, now let’s go get some pie.” Now, that’s somethin’ everyone can agree on. Everyone like pie. Pie is good for the soul, just like a good laugh, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of fantasy football.
One last thing my grandson told me, he said, “Grandma, fantasy football is like a rollercoaster, sometimes you’re up, and sometimes you’re down, but it’s always a wild ride”. I don’t know about no rollercoaster but sometime my hen goes up to the tree and sometime she down on the ground, I guess that’s kinda like what he said, it’s a wild ride for that hen.
So, there you have it, a whole bunch of nothin’ and somethin’ about funny fantasy football quotes, from a woman who don’t know much about football, fantasy or otherwise, but knows a good laugh when she hears one. And remember, “My team’s performance was like my old tractor, sputtering and stalling all season long”. That’s just like my old tractor, always acting up when I need it most.
